Birthday Dinner

I have so many stories to tell; I just don't know where to start.

Grandma has been in rare form these days. Rarer than usual. Pissy. Cantankerous. Obstinate. Stubborn. Narrow-minded. Grandma.

Take this weekend for example.

It was my 50th birthday. WOOHOO!!! I get to pick the restaurant and surround myself with friends and family that hopefully love me. YAY!!!

I don't know if Grandma wants to be on that list.

Friday came. I got lots of well wishes – emails, phone calls, hugs – from everyone...except Grandma.

I called to let her know what time I'd pick her up so we could go to dinner. All she could think about was why my mom wasn't picking her up. Not once did she wish me a happy birthday through the whole conversation.

m: "I'm going to pick you up about 6:30."
g: "Your mom said she'd pick me up."
m: "But I'm going to pick you up instead."
g: "But your mom said she'd pick me up."
m: "She's picking up J so I'm going to pick you up."
g: "OK"  ....pause... "But your mom said she was picking me up."
m: "Do you want mom to pick you up?"
g: "No, that's ok I suppose."

::head desk::

We finally get her in the car and head to the restaurant when she asks if we're going for Mexican food. OOOPS! I forgot to tell her where we're going. See, Grandma likes her food basic. Meat. Potatoes. Enchiladas. Steak. Chicken. Homestyle Southern cooking. OOOOPS! I picked the restaurant. OOOOOPS!!! We're going for Persian! ROFLMAO!!

I wish you could have seen the look on Grandma's face when I told her that. I almost wrecked the car! LOL The first words out of her mouth... "Why do y'all always have to eat that WEIRD food?!"

There was no convincing her that it was going to be good. No way. No how. Her mind was made up this dinner was going to suck.

We get there. She plops down at the end of the table. Barely speaks to anyone. I can't get her involved in any conversation. She stares at the menu and is just dumbfounded and starts making snarky comments about how is she suppose to order if she can't even pronounce it. (An English translation was right next to the name.)

Finally, got her to order some chicken and rice...can't go wrong with that...so I thought. Grandma took THREE bites of her chicken. She didn't like it because it was burnt. BURNT?!? That's char marks from the grill, Grandma!!!! She did eat both her tomato halves and rice, and then stole my son's tomato. AND she scarfed down probably a half a thing of the flattoon bread with radishes and HUMMUS. YES! She ate HUMMUS and liked it. O.M.G.!!!

At least Grandma didn't go home hungry. She filled up on birthday cake and hummus.

For Mother's Day, I think I'm going to suggest we go eat Indian food. Curry, tandoori, naan, kadhi, etc, YUM!!!!!