Thursday, February 28, 2013

Save Your Quarter

I called grandma last night. Wanted to let her know that I had dropped the new address cards I made for her to give to her friends in the mail. The cards have all her new information on them.

The conversation started out good. She was very thankful I had made them for her – saved her from writing it down thousands of times.

Then I made the mistake of asking how she was doing.

When will I ever learn.

m: How you doing?
gMy house is a mess. There's boxes everywhere. It's just a mess. 
m: It will be nice to be in a new home with central air and heat and a dishwasher.
g: I don't know. Central heat is good when it's on but when it's gets cold.
m: But your home won't be exposed to the elements like you are now in the middle of the field. You'll be protected on four sides. Much warmer.
gWell, they better not be noisy! I'll scream at them if they are.
m: It won't be a problem. They might scream at you with your wild parties and loud TV.
gI don't have the TV loud.
m: What did you say, grandmother? I couldn't hear you for the TV.
gI'm not going to unpack all my boxes. 
m: Why are you not going to unpack your boxes?

I should have know better.

g: Because I might not like it here.   
m: What? Don't you want to be close to us...your family?
g: [crickets]
m: Grandmother? Where would you go?
gI'll move back here. They're all going to miss me. I'm going to miss them more. [Landlords] said they'll never have a good renter like me again. They'll take me back. Besides, I'm going to be all cooped up. Not able to go anywhere and do things.

BINGO! She's starting to regret to the move.

m: What do you do now? Do you get out of the house or watch your shows all day?
gI go to the store. I can drive. I think might try driving there. I can do it.

OH GOD NO!!!!!!!

m: It will be fine. You've got us. There's things to do there. You're favorite great-grandson would love to drive you around. (Little does he know.) You'll make lots of new friends. Maybe even find you a man!
gWho wants that stuff!? I don't have time for a man.

But you said you're going to be all cooped up with nothing to do?!?!?!?
I give up.

m: Well watch for the delivery truck tomorrow afternoon. I hope you like your move cards. I need to go relax and get ready for bed [and pour myself a stiff Crown and Coke].
g: Thanks again. Don't work too hard.

Word of advice: Save your quarter; send snail mail instead. Save yourself the hangover.

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