Thursday, March 7, 2013

Bless Her Heart

Can you find grandma?
Y'all know we're from the South. Generations of strong southern women. Independent. Opinionated. Polite. My mom always said not to be rude; if you can't say anything nice – don't say anything at all; and, there's a way to tell someone "to go to hell" so that they are looking forward to the trip. I heart my mom.

A couple of those phrases, we southern women like to say is "bless your heart" or "isn't that nice." It's a way to soften the blow when you're speaking ill of someone and not be rude. well... sort of anyway.  :P

Well, bless grandma's pea-picking heart!

I loaded up the car yesterday with my mom, son and the pug for a roadtrip to grandma's. We wanted to make sure everything was ready for the movers when they come on Saturday. Thank God we did!

Everything she said that was done...hadn't been done. Everything should have been packed up by now. She still had empty boxes from our last trip. The kitchen. The bedroom. The bathroom. The living room. It all still needed boxing up. There's not that much stuff. All she had to do was a couple of boxes a day.

Bless her heart.

So we went into tornado mode. Started boxing up everything until we ran out of boxes.

Time for lunch! More fried diner food. Then to hunt for boxes in a small Texas town. This town has 1,100 people on a Saturday. No red lights. One grocery story. One dollar store. Two gas stations. THREE liquor stores. I know where their priorities are! Please let there be boxes in town!

We hit the motherload!
Yes, that really is his tongue.
Stopped at the first liquor store on the way back to grandma's...they had boxes and I had a car full of people and a fat pug. I was able to get 18 good liquor boxes and four full and "happy" people and one fat pug into my Kia Sportage...WITH room to spare. I just wish there was a bottle of Crown left in one of those boxes! Then we had to open the car door and unload. LOL

We packed up all those boxes with her stuff and need more. Go figure! So grandmother and I headed to the other liquor stores. She hated it. Someone is going to see her there. WHOOPIE!!!!

We hit the jackpot again at the drive-thru liquor store. :) I love drive-thrus. But this time grandma got out of the car! She knew the owners. HUH? As I loaded up the car with another 20 boxes (and looking for another bottle of Crown) she started talking to the owners telling them how it wasn't her choice to move and how she'll be driving after she gets situated. Oh hell no!!!! Then she proceeded to talk bad about her family. HELLO! I'm standing right here!!

Bless her heart. Love you to, grandma.

We get back to the house and grandma has had enough. She grabs one of the multitude of Magnum ice cream bars and sits down in front of the TV. We pack her up. The whole time she's shouting about her GARAGE SALE and not missing a drop of ice cream. How much should she ask for this? for that? Please, sell me!!

This was Wednesday. She moves Saturday. There's still her storage shed to go through. It ain't all gonna get done. I see another roadtrip in our future after the move.

Isn't that nice?!

I think I'll hit the liquor store for FULL box of anything to numb the pain of this adventure.

Bless MY heart!


  1. and kiss your grits for being the wonderful granddaughter that you are. i can only imagine what mom is seething between those lips. been there and done that (sort of ) and it's not easy. my only question is when are you planning to load up all the things that will have to be taken "home" for this garage sale. roflmao. j