Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Why Do We Have Fingers?

Just stop for a moment and look at your hand. It's an amazing thing. It has five nimble fingers attached to it capable of doing all sorts of amazing things. Think of everything your hands and fingers can do. Wiggle, scratch, poke, twirl, bend, wave, demand, tap, clap, point, seduce, push and so much more. Awesome!!

Keep that thought.

Grandma still has all her fingers and toes. And I assume they were all still working until last night.

See, grandma got up in the middle of the night around 2am to make a pit stop. OK. No biggie. We all do that. The joys of growing old.

Fail #1:  No hands were used to turn on a light.

Grandma started to head back to the bed and WHACK! she did a face plant into her shower door and then bounced onto the floor landing square on her butt and back. Based on the bruising and knot on her forehead, she saw stars and probably briefly knocked herself out. Grandma laid there for a few minutes in pain. Ten minutes passed. Maybe half an hour went by. After some time, grandma CRAWLED back to her bed in the dark. On the floor. With no Life Alert button around her neck.

Fail #2:  No hands were used to place a Life Alert device around your neck.

It's going on 3am now. Grandma crawls back into bed. In the dark. In pain. She uses her hands to grab a flashlight to see what time it is. Don't ask. She lays there a long time. The Life Alert device is next to the bed with the flashlight and cool invention called The Telephone.

Fail #3:  No hands were used to pick up a phone OR a Life Alert device.

Now it's almost 5am. THREE hours later. She decides to call her daughter.

I've fallen and I can't get up. Should I push the Life Alert button?

Fail #4:  No fingers were used to push the damn button.

FINALLY, grandma uses her fingers to push the Life Alert button.

Mom gets to grandma's apartment as the EMTs are trying get in the gated complex. That's right. Emergency vehicles are UNABLE to get to an emergency call within a SENIOR apartment complex.

Fail # 5:  Failure to plan for after hour access for emergency vehicles.

Once they got in, they had to break down grandma's door. A door that is deadbolted from the inside at a senior apartment complex. Hmmmm...didn't anyone think that this type of facility might need to have access to get into an apartment on a more frequent basis due to the nature of the facility and its senior occupants?

Fail #6:  Failure to plan for emergencies.

The EMTs were very nice. They got grandma to the hospital. X-rays and CT scans were ordered. Grandma is enjoying the morphine. Mom is looking for the scotch. Grandma has a LOT of pain and discomfort but at this time nothing appears broken.

Her head matches her purple night gown and purple bedspread. At least she doesn't have blue hair. That would clash.

She's going to spend a few days in the hospital to make sure everything is ok.

I've asked the doctors to double check her hands and fingers to make sure they're working properly.

Maybe they should check her head, too...I have some concerns. It might be short a couple of chips short of a full bag.

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